David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Category: Parenting

Three Stories. One Punch Line.

A man wants to get in touch with a US senator. He goes to a well-connected Washington lobbyist. “I need a meeting with the senator,” he says. “I can get you a connected with the senator” replies the lobbyist. “The charge will be ten thousand dollars.” “Ten thousand dollars?” the

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Running the Laundry

Just as Edison is frequently invoked as knowing a thousand ways not to make a lightbulb, I am intimately familiar with how to run a marathon so as not to qualify for Boston. Having had the good sense to turn 50 and noticing the requisite time necessary to get a

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Family

There are myriad reasons not to be a family. There is only one reason to put up with your cigarette-smoking, nose-picking, inept, unpleasant, disruptive, opinionated, boorish grandparents, in-laws, cousins, and siblings. Did I mention that they are also offensive, insensitive, and inappropriate? Do I have to remind you that they

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Poor Boy

Wait a minute? He did what? He killed her? With a knife? Because she went on a date or didn’t want to marry him or preferred this Grayson guy? And now the abusive murderer is going to hang and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him? “Poor boy”? He’s called

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Complaint

The irony of my complaining about complainers is not lost on me, but consider what the following complainers and complaints have in common: A pediatrician griping about patients with runny noses. A high school math teacher grumbling about students who haven’t memorized the quadratic formula. A lawyer moaning about clients

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Traveling Ballet Team

John Irving wonderfully defined “gradual school” as where students go until they gradually figure out that they need to be somewhere else. I took several courses in myriad departments until determining that I needed to be elsewhere, specifically developmental psychology. The social, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral development of children, adolescents,

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Prize

“Do people who run marathons know that they don’t have to?” suggests a popular meme. To which I might add, “do people who have kids know that they’re no requirement?” “You don’t get a prize” one of my running buddies says. She’s referring to training and racing and although, to

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Pressure

We don’t put pressure on our daughter. We never said you must get good grades. We always emphasized that we love her for who she is not what she does. Yet somehow she has internalized this perfectionism. I don’t know where she gets this harmful idea. She studies till all

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Sounds Like

Had it been my turn I would have tapped two fingers against my left forearm. “Two syllables!” my teammates would have shouted. Holding up two fingers and then grabbing my ear, I would have communicated, “second syllable!” and “sounds like!” before going on to pantomime “fear” by throwing up my

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R. O. I.

Student loan forgiveness has been a national discussion recently. My colleagues in the independent counseling world have been penning insightful posts about the subject. My limited understanding of the arguments on both sides is as follows: in favor, “student debt is onerous and unfair.” Against, “hard working folks shouldn’t have

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