David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Category: Parenting

Welcome. It’s Nice to See You.

Apparently there are physiological reasons why Mile 20 is notoriously wretched. A 150-pound person can store about 2000 calories and uses around 100 calories per mile. At mile 20, the stores are depleted. No more glycogen. The body–starved for fuel–burns everything available. Think about a bitterly cold night, a fire

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Janet of the Apes

JANET  But it’s pretty bad, isn’t it? I know it’s pretty bad. Ever since I can remember…ever since I was a little girl…people have turned away from me. The very first thing I can remember is a little child screaming when she looked at me. I never wanted to be

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Jeer Pressure

One of the great things about being a runner is that getting older is a good thing. You’re 65-69? Great! You’ll do better in your new age bracket, now that you don’t have to compete against those fast, young bucks in the 60- to 64-year-old group! One of the great

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Simple Distinction

One of my running buddies tells a story about his immigrant grandfather. Arriving from Europe after the First World War, Mike worked long shifts as a dishwasher, was promoted to cook, eventually opening his own diner. A generation later, my buddy’s grandfather owned four restaurants, employing dozens of people. He

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Horse Sense

Alan Strang, the protagonist of Peter Shaffer’s Equus, commits an act so heinous as to impress theater goers long after the final homeward bound subway ride. Critics view the text as “Shaffer’s exploration of the way modern society has destroyed our ability to feel passion.” They write of Alan’s psychiatrist

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Silence is Golden

Sorry to be late. My granddaughter has a fever. Nothing serious. Maybe 99 point something. Also, this isn’t my computer; I’m using my wife’s computer. So her name is showing up in the Zoom. Not my name. Her name is Peggy. But my name is Bob. So my computer screen

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The Square Root of your Kids

The square root of negative one is a nasty bit of business. The square root of 25 gets invited to parties, has followers on Instagram. Even the square root of 2 is asked to dance occasionally. But the square root of negative one? The square root of negative one is

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A Dog’s Life

Langley and I met a young woman and her canine companion in the neighborhood. Our dogs clearly wanted to play but unlike Langley who is trained to come when called, her dog was not yet competent to return after a romp. So, the four of us walked along together, Langley

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The Last Step

Daren wasn’t a bad kid. Admittedly, he had slept in and missed a few classes, played some tennis, gotten mostly Cs in his first semester. He had pledged a fraternity, drank a few beers. His parents were supportive, to a point. But a D in “Introduction to Sociology” second semester allowed

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Environment

Roberta describes her pandemic life monitoring her five, seven, and nine-year-old children: I feel like I am talking to myself. Sometimes I have to ask my partner if I am actually speaking words out loud. The children do not acknowledge, let alone respond, never mind acquiesce to my escalating instructions.

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Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2024    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    [email protected]