Mrs. Charles Brown filed for divorce yesterday in family court citing irreconcilable differences in her marriage of four years. “Who wants to be married to a kid who was bald all the way back in elementary school?” she asked. “And every time I needed change for the dryer, my husband
Personal injury settlements and lottery winnings are the two ways to come into piles of money all at once without having to do anything in particular other than buy a ticket or perhaps get run over by someone with good insurance coverage. Like Minerva born from the brain of Zeus,
It’s getting dark. Has the sun has been extinguished by an alien super-being who feeds on the energy of stars ending all life on this planet? Should we run shrieking in the streets knowing that there is no tomorrow? Should we hurl ourselves out of the window anticipating that in
You know that woman whose kids are endlessly pleasant? She had six children in six years, homeschooled them all even before the virus. The kids cheerfully help with dishes, chores, cleaning, yard work. They go to bed without being told, get up without being asked, do their homework, say thank
One of my running buddies, Martin, is faster than I, bordering on immeasurably so. Martin covers five kilometers much quicker than I do. Same for 10K. Martin beats me in the half marathon by half an hour. I’m pretty sure there are no more 50-milers in these 64-year-old legs, but
Visualize a small pile of sand. A pile of sand is distinguishable from several grains of sand. Remove one grain at a time. At what point does the pile of sand become a few grains of sand? As you remove each grain, the pile remains a pile. Until it isn’t.
“Why do we have to know this?” “How will this help us in life?” “Will this be on the test?” All teachers endure these questions. All teachers hate these questions. Teachers have a variety of ineffectual responses–possibly because they are blinded by disgust and hatred. Some rejoinders are forceful: You must
Alien encounters are said to follow a recurrent theme: bright lights, anesthesia, probing. Other nightmares include showing up without clothes to an exam for which you are unprepared. Being pursued by soldiers intent on inflicting grievous bodily harm is another. I had a bad dream last night worse than any
Unsophisticated readers have unfailingly accused this gentle author of pining for a representation of our country’s history that did not ever, in fact, exist. You envision a romantic epoch on the prairie a hundred fifty years ago when family game night was a thing. You think generations living together was
A young adult I know recently completed his DPT, Doctor of Physical Therapy. As a result of his degree, he is now inundated with a repeated query. Everyone wants to stay healthy. Everyone is concerned with getting infected. So everyone asks the same question: what is the best exercise? Is
Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022 | Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC | (305) 978-8917 | [email protected]
