David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Author: David

Dog Days

As the above photo will attest, our 30-something pound Terrier mix is completely at home crossing an 8-inch wide “bridge“ over a creek. Would the three-foot drop bother him were he to lose his footing? We will never know. Langley walks across those boards like he was born there. He

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You Never Know

“You never know” suggest the strategists tasked with separating you from your dollar. Those designing lottery adverts are compensated by their success. “You never know” is an enticing campaign. The implication—that you might win a million dollars and be able to significantly pay down your credit card debt—is clear. You

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My Busy Day

Parenting “expert” that I purportedly am, I never managed to choose age appropriate books to read to my kids. I’m not particularly proud of this. At seven and eight, they heard Flowers for Algernon, a poignant book with any number of inappropriate themes for recent kindergarten graduates: The beloved narrator plummets

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Personal Statement

High school juniors are currently struggling with college application essays. Nobody enjoys writing to begin with. If anybody did enjoy writing, that person would not be an adolescent effervescing over the crafting of a personal statements for admissions and in the extraordinarily unlikely eventuality that anybody enjoyed writing personal statements,

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Soccer Bombs

Once upon a gentler time before “Kill the Ref!” became the norm, parents used to chat amicably on the sidelines while their little ones imitated hordes of lemmings on the soccer pitch. Adorable seven-year-olds would flock gleefully around a careening ball. Comfortably ensconced on lawn chairs, moms and dads would

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Your Pain or Mine?

I’m fond of my dentist, a close personal friend of many years, a skilled and ethical professional. But just as McCoy opined, “I’m a doctor, Jim, not a bricklayer,” there’s only so much even the most competent practitioner can accomplish. My friend is a dentist, not a magician. When the

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Princess Stride

It is my understanding that a 150-pound person burns about one hundred calories per mile. A runner’s body can store 2000 calories. Simple arithmetic suggests that there is nothing left at Mile 20, hence “the wall” that amateur marathoners frequently reference. Nutrition, training schedules, good shoes, stretching, and snacks high

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Congratulations?

In the mid 1950s, my grandparents bought a 700-square foot two-bedroom, one-bath, summer home in western North Carolina. They paid $5000. Their first visitor considered the shoddy construction, the 25-foot wide lot, the peeling paint, the obscure location hundreds of miles from Brooklyn and the rest of the known universe.

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Gradual School

John Irving’s character, Garp, defined gradual school as “where you go to school and you gradually find out you don’t want to go to school anymore.“ I, to the contrary, loved graduate school, would still be there if I could. The coursework, professors, and colleagues were invariably awesome. What could

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Loser

A silver medal in the Olympics is better than a bronze medal. Duh. Second place is better–by any reasonable definition of the word “better”–than third place. Given a choice, wouldn’t you want to stand higher on the podium? You certainly would want your child to be second rather than third

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Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    [email protected]