Category: Parenting

Atoms can not be trusted, suggests one of my favorite Dad Jokes. Because they make up everything. Atoms also make up the smallest units of matter—overlooking “quarks” which are both harder to spell and more difficult to wrap my head around—up, down, charm? Give me a break. Democritus came up

One of these things is not like the others, One of these things just doesn’t belong. Hank Aaron, arguably the greatest baseball player of all time Joan Benoit, arguably the greatest marathon runner of all time Tom Brady, arguably the greatest football player of all time Nadia Comaneci, arguably the

It is not clear who first remarked that the stone age did not end for want of stones. I doubt I am the first to observe that Robot Writing—sometimes referred to as ChatGPT—does not presage the demise of first year composition classes or indeed the passing of carbon-based life forms

Some years ago, my mom had an endoscopy, an undignified procedure in which tubes were stuck down her throat. I attended the festivities as both Uber driver and emotional support animal. My mom was much too tough at 87 to admit to needing either a driver or any help whatsoever—her

Father and son on a pristine beach, the lake smooth as glass. Among the colored rocks are any number of perfectly flat stones wholly perfect for skipping. The father picks up a stone, skims it across the water. The stone bounces a few feet from the coast then vaults twenty

A father and his young adult daughter are vacationing. In Venice, Stacey complains about the food. In Florence, she grumbles about her aching feet. At the Uffizi, she is grumpy about how her dad wants to spend nineteen hours staring at each and every painting in the eight-gazillion square foot

A man wants to get in touch with a US senator. He goes to a well-connected Washington lobbyist. “I need a meeting with the senator,” he says. “I can get you a connected with the senator” replies the lobbyist. “The charge will be ten thousand dollars.” “Ten thousand dollars?” the

Just as Edison is frequently invoked as knowing a thousand ways not to make a lightbulb, I am intimately familiar with how to run a marathon so as not to qualify for Boston. Having had the good sense to turn 50 and noticing the requisite time necessary to get a

There are myriad reasons not to be a family. There is only one reason to put up with your cigarette-smoking, nose-picking, inept, unpleasant, disruptive, opinionated, boorish grandparents, in-laws, cousins, and siblings. Did I mention that they are also offensive, insensitive, and inappropriate? Do I have to remind you that they

Wait a minute? He did what? He killed her? With a knife? Because she went on a date or didn’t want to marry him or preferred this Grayson guy? And now the abusive murderer is going to hang and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him? “Poor boy”? He’s called