As a grandmother enjoys a sunny day at the beach with her five year-old grandson, the sky darkens and an enormous wave comes out of nowhere washing the child out to sea. Hysterical with fear the grandmother frantically shouts to the lifeguard who is already sprinting toward the ocean. Fighting
“The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them,” Abraham Lincoln said. The Lord must also prefer B students because he made a lot of them too. The worst advice you’ve ever gotten has been from the people who know you the least. “Take a
Why did Colonel Mustard kill Mr. Body in the Billiard Room with the Revolver? As difficult as it may be to get a valid psychological profile of a one-inch tall, yellow, bit of smoothed wood, I’m going to make the following inference: there was money involved. “Follow the money” is
“Mom? It’s me, Joel. Yes, everything’s fine. The kids are great. They’re looking forward to seeing you when you come up next month. What’s that? Yes, my practice is fine. Thanks for asking. Removed three gall bladders on Wednesday. What? No, arthroscopic. It’s called arthroscopic surgery. Yes, I think all
The “Ifs” “Daddy, if we had a bigger back yard, could we have a pony?” “Yes, dear, in the sense that if your father had wheels, he could be a trolley car.” — “If I put down on my college application that I am an under-represented minority, would it improve
The right reason to apply early decision: “Professor Smith has a brain the size of a planet, we’ve been corresponding since I first heard her speak at this meeting and started doing data entry for her three years ago when I was in ninth grade and I read her book
Harvard admits some 3000 students each year. Here’s how William Fitzsimmons, the director of admissions and financial aid, described the process years ago. He asked us—a room full of counselors—to imagine the computer making a mistake. Rather than sending 3000 “yes” letters (“Congratulations. It is with pleasure that the admissions
“No matter where you go, there you are” applies to college students and cowboy movie heroes. Shane, the gunfighter, cannot escape his past. Can college applicants create their own future? Parents’ stress surrounding admissions to highly competitive colleges (hereafter “HCC”) is as misguided as it is unfortunate. Kids who can
“Psst” says the impeccably dressed gentleman at the reception. “I can get your son admitted to Princeton. Guaranteed.” Horrified, yet fascinated, you cannot help but respond: “No one can do that,” you begin. “Princeton routinely rejects 90% of their applicants. They turn down valedictorians with perfect SATs, captains of the
“What did your daughter get on your math test?” “Where is she applying to college?” “What did she get on her SATs?” These are the thoughtful, endearing questions that concerned parents ask one another in the parking lot as they wait to pick up their eleventh graders after school. In
Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2024 | Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC | (305) 978-8917 | david@davidaltshuler.com
