David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Author: David

You’re Ugly and your Mother Dresses you Funny

For the purposes of this essay, allow that everyone has some good qualities. And some that are not so attractive. Pretend further, that you are dating a person who focuses only on your imperfections. “You smell like a bag of farts,” your partner begins. “Your car stinks; you stink; you

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It’s Electric

Invariably, there’s a question before the question. “Should I monitor my daughter’s electronic communication?” is usually preceded by, “Do I have reason to be concerned?” If you have no reason to question your adolescent daughter’s whereabouts, friends, safety, or choices, then you’re not going to monitor her electronic communication. Why

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Paying for College

Wealthy parents in Chicago are transferring legal guardianship of their children so that the family will pay less for college. Need based aid is based on income. Families with more assets and higher incomes qualify for less financial aid. If the Opulofskies have a combined income of $500K/year and have

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Study

One of my old students is preparing for an exam. Apparently the results will determine where she gets to practice medicine or what kind of medicine she gets to practice or something else of consequence. It’s not clear to me. Honestly, I no longer understand a word this woman says.

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No Agenda

“Do people have a tendency to dump on you?” asked Paul Simon in 1966. I would answer in the affirmative in that just this morning I was subjected to a lengthy insight into a neighbor’s digestive health. Did I begin the conversation by inquiring about his recent medical procedure? I

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“I vote ‘no,’ Mr. President.”

President Lincoln: How do you vote Mr. Seward? William Seward: The Secretary of State of the United States votes “no.” President Lincoln: Thank you, Mr. Seward. Mr. Cameron, how do you vote? Simon Cameron: The Secretary of War of the United States of America votes “no.” President Lincoln: Thank you,

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Vocab

After Hurricane Andrew knocked my South Florida community back to the Pleistocene, my commute became surreal. It could have been worse. Hundreds of people lost their homes. I lost only my patience as my drive home was measured in geological time. At least I had a roof–even if that roof

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Man Bites Dog!

Planes that don’t crash are not headlines. “Sun Sets in West” will not appear in 72-point type above the fold. “Man bites dog,” instructs that uncommon stories are the ones reported. But what is to be said of an adolescent biting his father? Admittedly, the young man also allegedly punched

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Reject

Jim Lovell’s rejection was based on a medical condition which, as it turned out, he didn’t even have. Nonetheless, rejected he was. The Mercury Seven astronauts were seven somebody elses. John Glenn, Alan Shepard, and Gus Grissom made the cut. Jim Lovell did not. Lovell had experience with rejection. He

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The Lottery

It’s all so simple in retrospect. Maybe I shouldn’t give away the secret. But I feel an obligation. Why should I be the only one to win? Everyone can win! It’s so straight forward. Here is exactly what I did. If you do the same thing, your results will be

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Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2024    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    [email protected]