Here’s a riddle you may enjoy: What do Winnie the Pooh and Atilla the Hun have in common?
Of course, the answer will be supplied next week–unless a gentle reader posts a reply in the comments section on the website. In the meantime, the following hint–from Groucho Marx–may be of help: “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” In other words, young ones may have more luck with this riddle than do their parents.
Here’s an even more difficult question, the answer to which neither generation will find obvious at first blush. What do these stories and movies all have in common?
1) “The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse,” the fable by Aesop.
2) “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” (Go ahead, think about Mickey Mouse in Fantasia. Disney got the idea from Goethe’s 1797 story.)
3) The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum. (Again, full marks if you think about the 1939 MGM movie rather than the less well known book.)
4) “The Monkey’s Paw,” an admittedly obscure but none-the-less wonderful 1906 horrow story by W. W. Jacobs. Here’s the link, http://www.enotes.com/monkeys-paw-text/i
And for those who don’t have the time or inclination to re-read, re-watch or rethink, here are the relevant passages:
1) From Aesop: “Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear.”
2) From Goethe: “Spirits that I’ve cited, My commands ignore.” (Or if you’re thinking Fantasia, envision Mickey splitting the brooms in half, but more and more brooms keep bringing water. He has started a process that he does not have the skill to contain.)
3) From The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, “My greatest wish now,” [Dorothy] added, “is to get back to Kansas…”
4) From “The Monkey’s Paw,” the parents of the maimed and mangled son just want their old lives back.
Why are there so many stories across generations, across hundreds of years, across countries and cultures about wishing for changes that come back to make things worse rather than better? From Aesop 2500 years ago in Greece to late 18th century Germany to Depression Era Kansas to a hundred years ago in Britain, all these stories seem to be asking, “Could we wish for something better?” and the resounding answer is “Not so much.”
If the “moral of the story” is “stay as you are” and “don’t wish for change” then, it could be argued, that the ruling elite propagate these myths. The king doesn’t want anyone other than his son applying for the job. If everyone from mice to apprentices to farm girls to working class Englishmen are encouraged to accept the status quo and stay in their social class, there is less work to be done quelling insurrection. But that’s not how I read these stories.
The message that I get is two-fold: that change–transformative positive change–is incremental. Hard work pays off in a better life for your children. Big changes–oxycontin for mild pain, for example–has long term, negative consequences. Secondly–and here regular readers will here sense another familiar theme–that being satisfied with the children we have will lead us not to muck things up by trying to force them to be the children they’re not.
Because the law of unintended consequences can destroy our families.
“Jill wasn’t doing well in math so I went in and yelled at her teacher. I was shocked to learn that now my daughter expects me to solve all her problems and is unable to do much for herself.”
“Micah wanted to study music, but I insisted that he put away his instrument and focus on chemistry. Now I’m disappointed that he doesn’t trust my judgment.”
“Jason wasn’t studying as much as I would have liked so I gave him psycho-stimulants for attention. Then I was surprised when he started taking Xanax believing he could cure every unhappiness with a pill.”
“Tommy wanted to go to bed after studying for four hours, but I slapped him and said that if he wanted to achieve his goals, he would have to study for five hours. I just can’t understand why now, as an adult, he won’t return my calls.”
I am not advocating for mediocrity. I am not suggesting that we discourage our children from trying that which is new, healthy, and appropriate. I am arguing that trying to change children into who we want them to be can have unintended and dire results. As always, “love the kids you have and you’ll have the kids you’ll love.” After all, wouldn’t you rather have a child who is studying to be a sorcerer than a mouse who is surrounded by too many brooms with overflowing buckets of water?
