Sex Test

Although long time readers and friends may be able to guess where my opinion falls on the continuum above, I won’t force my outlook on you. I just want to use these opposing perspectives to point out that there are folks out there who do not share your worldview. Perhaps with the most contentious election in the history of our nation a week away, the concept that there is a range of understandings will come as no significant revelation.

So if there are people out there who are voting for the “wrong” candidate next Tuesday, isn’t it clear that there are people whose view of what is in the best interests of your children is utterly, fundamentally, completely, and thoroughly different from yours? Just like the three opinions above, there is a range.  In order to keep your children safe, you MUST assume full responsibility for bringing up your kids the way you want to. You gotta stand up. If you don’t want your kids to, say, smoke cigarettes, that’s your call to make. But you can’t allow somebody else to determine whether or not your kid should smoke cigarettes. Because that person might think nicotine is a good thing as opposed to the sordid poison you know it to be. Forgive the obvious example.

The broader culture is as ubiquitous as it is powerful. If you do not believe in watching a bevy of seven-year-olds hover lemming-like around a spheroid, you do not have to enroll your kids in soccer. Nothing wrong with soccer, but there’s no law that says that every second grader in America must participate. If you believe in reading books, you do not have to have violent video games in your home. If you do not believe in McCrap, you are allowed to feed your children nutritious food. You are the adult; you make the tough choices.

Understandably, the Cheetos lobby is in favor of snacks containing two of the food groups–the orange food group and the plastic food group–but there are other food groups available. If you prefer foods that are less likely to cause your children to glow for several years after they are dead, it’s your call. As of this writing, the Cheetos Police are not a force to be concerned with in our neighborhood. (Note: there is no scientific evidence that Cheetos cause glowing corpses that decompose slower than does an atom of uranium. None whatsoever. None. Get the hell out of here. What are you looking at?)

“But all the other kids are doing it.” No argument. Other kids are indeed playing violent video games six and eight hours a day. But have you spent any time with any of those other kids lately? Your kids are lucky to have chosen YOU for their parent. Some of those other kids? Woo. You don’t want them on your lawn if you can help it. Grass will never again grow where those children have stepped.

It might be a good idea to stop talking to people who follow the rules. You might even want to stop talking to people who make the rules. It might be time to look into your heart and determine that, in your family anyway, you are going to be the one who makes the hard decisions. After all, isn’t that what being a parent is all about?