My column this week is a “slippery slope” or “reducio ad absurdum” about what could happen if the kind of thinking in this piece: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonma/2012/04/01/why-to-start-preparing-for-college-in-sixth-grade/ were to flow to its natural conclusion. Here’s an except from the article that appeared in Forbes:
“My other daughter is a different story. ‘Cutie pie, you are very sharp socially and I think you’ve got elements of being a CEO in the future. Would you like Daddie to coach you to be one?” I say to my younger daughter, who is a feisty, 11-year-old sixth grader. Wide-eyed and excited, she replies: “Yes, Daddie! She has been a top student in school, always straight A’s.”
And here are my thoughts on the subtext and the implications of the piece. I’ll be interested to hear how much you think I’m exagerating or extrapolating.
My six year-old daughter came home from kindergarten with a funny idea. She said that she had enjoyed the story that the teacher read about a bunny. At this point in her development, she should at least be up to stories about more than one animal at a time. Stories about bunnies are all well and good for five year-olds, but my daughter is six–and an advanced six at that. She needs to be hearing stories about sheep at the very least and very likely about goats as well. Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with bunnies necessarily. I think bunnies are fine. It’s just that bunnies are no longer developmentally appropriate.
Her next idea was even more inappropriate. She said that after story time, all the children went outside to play. Some children were on the swings, others were on the jungle gym. My daughter chose the sandbox. I am ignoring for the moment that she played in the sandbox three times last week and should be broadening her horizons to other forms of playground activities. She is much too young and much too advanced to be limiting herself to only one activity. The jungle gym, for example, will do more to fine tune her gross motor coordination than the sandbox will. But because I love my daughter and want what is best for her I am willing to overlook this poor judgment on her part for the time being.
She said that in the sandbox there were three children and three toys and that each child was playing with a toy. “Why did you not explain to the other children that you should have all three toys and that they should have none?” I questioned gently. “You know that you are destined to be a CEO and that the destiny of those other children is to bring you coffee,” I continued. “Why did you allow them to play with toys also?”
My daughter argued with me. Arguing is allowed in our household. As long as eventually the children come around to the point of view of their parents. My daughter said, “I would not take food from the other children.” She looked me in the eye. “Why would I take their toys?” “Silly girl,” I said, tickling her under the chin. “Not to take their food is like suggesting that there is enough food for everyone in the world.”
“But, Daddie, the studies of world hunger are clear. There is enough food for…”
“Just a moment, I interrupted gently. “Remember last year when that other child, Johnny, tried to challenge you for first chair in the orchestra?”
“Yes, Daddie. Of course. There are six children who play bouzouki.”
“And because of your hard work, you are the first chair, the best bouzouki player, are you not?”
“Yes.”
“But Johnny challenged you for first chair, right?”
“Yes. The teacher said there would be a competition to determine who would be first chair. But Johnny was absent that day.”
“And you are the best bouzouki player and the first chair.”
“Yes, Daddie.”
“Let me give you one more example and then you can go back to your homework. You have many worksheets more to finish so that you can be the best. Your teacher has a chart with all the children’s names and how manyworksheets they have finished, does she not?”
“Yes, you know the teacher does.”
“The teacher has a reason for having the chart. She is the teacher. The purpose of having the chart is to encourage you to be the best, to beat the other children, to do more worksheets than they. If another child knows what two plus two is, then your knowledge of what two plus two is becomes less. The other children only have to know how to bring you coffee.”
“Yes, Daddie, of course. But may I ask you if you know what happened to Johnny?”
