Madness

Between “Kind Hearts and Coronets”, arguably the best film ever made, and “Star Wars”, the one with the most Wookies, Alec Guinness won an Oscar in 1957 for best actor in “Bridge Over the River Kwai”. As the commander of his fellow allied prisoners, Colonel Nicholson is tasked with erecting a structure that will support the Japanese war effort. Committed to his strict sense of duty, Guinness’s character exacts discipline from his men. What the Japanese guards were unable to effect with punishments and coercion, Guinness is able to produce with order and proper chain of command.

In short, his insistence on proper protocol allows him to commit egregious treason. He has helped the enemy, in wartime, to complete the bridge that will allow the movement of their troops to engage allied forces. Nicholson goes so far as to attempt to thwart a guerrilla action by British soldiers hoping to blow up the bridge. Nicholson’s adherence to order allows him to lose sight of the larger picture–helping the enemy in wartime. When he finally comes to grips with what he has done, he exclaims “Madness!”

Speaking of madness, what is the purpose of homework in your house? Is homework about learning, about reinforcing the inspiring lessons that the children have been exposed to in the classroom earlier in the day? Is homework about cuddling up on the couch with your child and a dog-eared copy of Old Yeller? Is homework about falling in love with words and ideas? Is homework about learning?

Or is homework in your house about doing what you’re told? Has homework descended into an incessant series of psychotic screaming power and control matches that just don’t make any sense to anyone?

Exhausted Mother: Do your homework!

Fatigued Child: Feh!

(These altercations remind me of an unfortunate series of Junior High jokes of which the following, unfortunately, is not even close to the most egregious example.

Child: Mommy, Mommy, I don’t want to go to Europe.

Mother: Shut up and keep swimming!)

“But there are responsibilities in the broader world” loving parents opine. “At some point a superior is going to require that responsibilities be fulfilled. Shouldn’t my child practice attending to commitments? How can she learn to be accountable as an adult if she doesn’t do homework in the third grade?”

Your child may learn to be responsible as an adult. But whether or not she does has very little to do with what you force her to do at age nine. That children may be exposed to carcinogens when they grow up is a poor argument for family vacations at Fukushima Daiichi. If children are forced to do homework, what they may learn is, well, er, force. Of course you may also instill resentment, unhappiness, and a deep seated sense that a parent’s function is to badger rather than support.

Remember children learn what they live. Here’s my favorite example of a mother correcting her three-year-old who has just smacked a playmate.

“Samantha! (Mom smacks Samantha.) Don’t hit!” (SMACK!) “In this family, we U-S-E,” (SMACK!) “O-U-R” (SMACK!) “W-O-R-D-S!” (SMACK!) “We don’t hit!”

(Extra credit if you can tell me whether or not Samantha grew up to be a hitter. Let me not always see the same hands.)

Mind you I’m not talking about kids who CAN do the mind numbing, soul denying, insipid worksheets. For kids whose fine motor skills are advanced (read: can write quickly and efficiently) homework will only inhibit their sense of wonder and their love of learning rather than cause shouting matches. But for kids who have trouble getting the words out of their brains and onto the paper, homework struggles can be as lengthy as they are fruitless.

The Forgotten Door by Alexander Key was my favorite book in fifth grade although I hear the Harry Potter series is well written and attractive to young readers as well. A Wrinkle in Time, The Giver, The Hobbit, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and The Princess Bride are all great reads as are books by John Green and Judy Bloom.

I know a lot of kids who love reading. I don’t know hardly any kids who love homework.

Do you have the nerve to take a day off from the homework struggle? Can you put off the assignments and put down the electronics for a marathon weekend of reading? Can you communicate to your kids that in your family words, books, and ideas are what you value rather than worksheets? Can you cuddle up on the couch with your kids and spend hour after hour taking turns reading _Frindle_ out loud to one another?

Or will you continue to be caught up in the madness?