It’s Only a Game… ?

My limited understanding of the mortgage debacle was that there were “bunches” of bundled debts, some of which were supposed to be “good” mortgages and some of which were understood to be “not so good” mortgages. Shockingly, it turned out that each and every one of the mortgages in the tranches completely, uniformly, and without exception belonged to the latter “not so good” category. I believe, the sophisticated financial term used to describe these collections of mortgages was “horrible.” Every one of the $250,000 mortgages was secured by a leaky trailer valued at dozens of dollars. Sometimes the same trailer.

Not that any American tax payer should have been surprised. At every Publix are gum ball machines where the prizes that a whining child can “see” differ significantly from the crap that the crying child can “receive” after wheedling a quarter from a grocery laden parent. Similarly, there is a picture of an eighty thousand dollar car in the casino. If you put quarters in a slot machine long enough, you might win that car! The photograph of a man returning home without groceries to his hungry family because he has put all his quarters in a machine and has-once again-not won a car?

That photo is not displayed.

The assumption that I make when I see a family eating high calorie, low nutrition fast food is that this meal is the exception, that most meals are prepared with healthy ingredients in a pleasant home. The reality, of course, is that many families eat McDreck from a drive through more often than they steam vegetables in their kitchen.

Surely, there is nothing wrong with the occasional family gathering around the television to view a favorite show. But when screens become the norm and conversation the exception, something has gone horribly awry.

The first time I heard “if you take away my game, I’ll kill myself” was just under ten years ago. The 16-year-old speaker wasn’t kidding, although he may have been exaggerating. I now hear “if you take away my video game, I’ll kill myself” from 13 year olds. Recently, I heard “if you take away my video game, I’ll kill myself” from a ten-year-old.

For these kids-younger and younger each year-playing “Shoot, Blood, Kill” isn’t the rare half hour after a full day of reading, bike riding, and exploring wild places with friends. Snorting X-Box is two or three hours every day, more-much more-on the weekends. Other activities, especially those involving interaction with other actual humans, have been curtailed severely.

How are ten-year-olds becoming addicts? (Such an ugly word, but the accurate one.) For one thing, game designers are making the games “stickier” with every edition. The NSA has nothing on game designers. “After the kid found the gold in the castle, he played for two more hours;” “after the unicorn died, the kid stopped playing” is exactly the data that is collected, analyzed, and implemented to keep your child’s dopamine receptors buzzing and your child connected (pun intended) to the multi-player on-line game.

Those who profit from your children injecting on-line games hide behind the “we only provide entertainment for those who choose to play” argument the way cigarette manufacturers claim that they only provide nicotine for those who have already chosen to smoke. These contentions would be laughable if they weren’t so heinous. We’ve all heard a bartender say, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Has anyone from a tobacco company ever said, “I don’t think you should have another cigarette”? Has any game designer ever suggested, “You’ve played enough ‘Shoot, Blood, Kill’”?

It has often been remarked that the best way to stop is not to start, that it’s easier to stay out of trouble that to get out of trouble. Parents can “just say no” to addictive computer games when the kids are little. It’s another kettle of electrons altogether when the children are older. Here’s another way to conceptualize pulling the plug on video games when you still have influence: “Pay me now or pay me later.”

Now is cheaper.

Admittedly, gaming addiction has more in common with eating disorders than it does with addiction to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or gambling. A heroin abuser in recovery can live a happy, healthy life if she never shoots up again. (Indeed, it can be argued that a heroin abuser in recovery can live a happy, healthy life ONLY if she never shoots up again.) For an alcoholic, “one is too many and a hundred isn’t enough.” But a young adult with an eating disorder cannot say, “I’ll never eat again.” A healthy relationship with food is necessary for survival. Similarly, a child who has an unhealthy relationship with computer gaming cannot avoid screens completely. Internet research and word processing are necessary for school survival. The tricky bit is to stay focused on homework and to avoid checking email or playing “Shoot, Blood, Kill” “just for a few minutes.”

The best time to plant an oak tree was 20 years ago; the second best time to plant an oak tree is today.

The best time to start the “no computer games” policy in your home was when you brought the kids home from the maternity ward.

The second best time to throw away all your screens is today.