One of my running buddies was told by his high school language teacher that he would never be able to pass Introductory Spanish, that he should give up on learning a foreign language. And because of his pronounced learning differences, he should probably also give up on higher education altogether. You can’t even pass Spanish I, the teacher suggested, how are you going to go to a college where three semesters of a foreign language is required for graduation.
Another one of my running buddies is something of a polyglot. In addition to his native English, he communicates with his hundred employees across South America in Spanish, Portuguese and French. He speaks all four languages at the translator level. If he wasn’t so ridiculously successful selling widgets–I have never been completely clear on what goes on at his factory–he could work as a translator at the United Nations. I still think in English, he says, but it’s fun to eavesdrop on conversations when I travel. Nobody figures the North American can understand every word they’re saying. It’s pretty fun to be able to understand any conversation in a room full of folks from all over.
Wait a minute, I lied. The two men described in the above paragraphs are actually one and the same person. The kid who couldn’t seem to learn “Hola, Paco, como estas?” never mind the difference between “tuvo” and “tenia” became the adult fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, and French. The same guy also understands German and Italian pretty well although he doesn’t pretend to know all the verbs in those two other tongues. The student who was told, you can’t pass the lowest level of Spanish is now able to communicate in six languages.
We could argue another time about whether the teacher who said, you will never pass this simple course and you probably shouldn’t think about college either was inspiring. My buddy could have learned three languages just to prove her wrong. His anger and hurt could have propelled him to excel. But I doubt it. I believe he performed in spite of not because of his language teacher’s prediction..
It’s a funny story 30 years down the road. Now that my running buddy is a successful polyglot with employees across six countries and three daughters who can afford to go to college at expensive private schools. But his education was excruciating at the time. “You will never pass a language course and shouldn’t go to college” is a kick in the head to anyone’s sense of self. Like history–which seems inevitable only in retrospect–there was a period when he felt bad about his ability and himself.
My running buddy’s high school language teacher comes off as the villain of this vignette. And maybe I’m being harsh. I wasn’t there. The guidance could have been well-intentioned, less stringent, or meant to help my running buddy avoid subsequent disappointment. Still the teacher impressed me as insensitive at best. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. When someone tells you who your kid is, believe in your kid.
What’s the take-away? Keep faith in your beloved children. Focus on what they are learning, not on their report cards. I’m not sure what “the proof is in the pudding” means, but I am certain that my running buddy could not say to any of his employees across six countries, “I got an A in Spanish therefore I am successful in my widget enterprise.” It’s the reality of ability not the indicators of ability that matters. Just ask my running buddy–in English, Spanish, French, Portugese, Italian, or German.
