The year after Kathy retired following three decades of teaching English at the university, she published her fifth novel and ran her tenth marathon. She celebrated the birth of her second grandchild and paid off her mortgage. One early morning as we plodded toward Matheson Hammock to watch the sun
Ignaz Semmelweis, so history tells us, was the preeminent obstetrician in Europe in the 1840s. Educated, credentialed, and well-read, Semmelweis was the Big Kahuna of baby delivery doctors two centuries ago. Except that the babies he delivered died at a disproportionately higher rate than those delivered by folks who didn’t
Some gentle readers who have been with me for 250 of these rabble-rousing musings have had the unmitigated temerity to suggest that my anti-drug, pro-running, be responsible for your kids screeds can be summarized as “fun is bad.” Not everybody wants to wake up at oh dark hundred, join similarly
My mom has perfect grammar. She knows who and whom, can tell a dangling participle from a gerund. Wake her up in the middle of the night and she will tell you when to use “ten-year-old” instead of “ten year old.” Throw a term paper across the room and, before
New to the sixth grade and new to the school, my son was pleased to receive an invitation to a dance. “Dance,” as it turns out, has more than one meaning of which shy children asking one another to do the twist is not the relevant one. At this country
As devoted readers of these columns will attest, sunshine, lollipops and unicorns have nothing on my opinion of a father-daughter hike on a crisp fall day where the twigs pop under your sneakers, the stream runs cold over the stones, and the panoramic view from the top of the mountain
After a buddy of mine had the poor judgment to choose to be born on the island of Hispaniola, he compounded his ineptitude 30 years later by contracting malaria. Sensitive to my wife’s unyielding policy of “no dead guys in the living room,” I drove Sebastian to the county hospital
I know an old woman who swallowed a fly… My baby is still colicky after three months. He still does not sleep for more than two hours at a time. All the other mothers I chat with at the gym have babies who are sleeping through the night. Sometimes, I
Consider Mr. Atrobus versus a mastodon. Atrobus is hungry. But the mastodon does not fancy appearing on anyone’s luncheon menu. One on one, the smart money is on Proboscidea. Because soaking wet, Atrobus tips the scales at something south of 200 pounds, about 10,000 pounds short of your recalcitrant mastodon.
Warning: some content may not be appropriate for younger readers. At two o’clock in the morning at a fraternity party, a senior tells a first year student that he has been attracted to her for the entire semester but has never spoken to her until now. He alternates encouraging her
Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2024 | Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC | (305) 978-8917 | david@davidaltshuler.com
