Category: Parenting

A buddy of mine measures his success by the number of his employees who have become millionaires. Can you imagine? He’s not bragging. He’s not taking credit. He’s just an accomplished businessman who gets joy knowing how many of his current or previous employees have a million dollars. I don’t

As regular readers of this column will acknowledge, I thrive on being read, on getting my message out there. I appreciate every response to my weekly columns. Conversation, even controversy, is what this community of writers and readers is all about. I welcome and enjoy your reactions. I appreciate the

1) How does John know he’s gay? He didn’t date any girls in high school. Maybe the REASON he didn’t date any girls in high school is BECAUSE he’s gay. JOHN knows he’s gay. All his friends know he’s gay. His parents are the only one who somehow didn’t notice.

Your relationship with your child is the smallest unit of community. Your relationship with your child is the smallest building block of culture. Your relationship with your child is what defines your family. Home may be the place where, “when you have to go there, they have to take you

Kids for whom drug use is teetering between “something bad is going to happen” and “something bad is going to happen maybe this afternoon” are frequently asked, “What is smoking pot worth to you?” Nobody has occasion to interrogate a neurosurgeon who has an occasional puff of marijuana on Saturday

My child hit all developmental milestones-sitting up, crawling, walking, talking-significantly ahead of his peers. My child enrolled at a competitive pre-school. My child got all As in advanced classes at his highly-rated high school. My child attended a college that rejects more than 90% of its applicants. My child was

Throughout evolutionary history, to a first approximation, everybody was seriously starving. Potiphar may have had access to seven silos of grain, but your average John Q. Egyptian didn’t feel completely comfortable about where his next meal was coming from–what with Ray Kroc some five thousand years off. In the generations

Are we emphasizing the wrong things? As parents we tell our children how great it is that they’re smart, ignoring both the genetic component of intelligence and the privileged backgrounds we lovingly provide. We tell our kids how proud we are that they scored the winning goal in the U-10

Here’s what’s wrong with all those “tough love,” “timeout,” “logical consequences,” “spare the rod and spoil the child” versions of parenting. The problem is that, if properly applied, they work as advertised. Be careful what you wish for. Skinnerian, punitive, behavioral ideas about how to bully your child into submission