FADE IN ON: A SUBURBAN BEDROOM, MORNING. Modern furniture. A man’s and a woman’s clothing are strewn about the floor. Pillows are scattered everywhere. Sunlight streams through lacy curtains. CUT TO: THE WOMAN (Not shy at all) Good morning. THE MAN (Not sleepy at all) Good
The old joke, equal parts sexist and offensive goes something like this: “My wife fantasizes about two men.” “Your wife fantasizes about two men?” “Yes. One to cook, one to clean.” The reality of course is that few women have two men with whom to kanoodle never mind two men
Our experience is replete with examples of both backbone and inflexibility. Intransigence inevitably has a positive connotation in our culture. Stand up for what you believe. Do not take a step backward. Live free or die. The American Revolution was not won by ambivalent soldiers: “Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe taxation
An accomplished professor of art history teaches an introductory undergraduate course. He has recently published his third scholarly article on Byzantine architecture. His textbook on the subject is ahead of schedule. Yet he spends the majority of his 50-minute lecture brutalizing his students about their poor exam results. “How are
You have qualified for a small business loan at a low interest rate! You can save money having your carpets cleaned! You have been selected to receive a free three-day, two-night all expenses paid vacation! The scripts of the telemarketers have anticipated your responses to these bullying inquiries. I imagine
Toward the end of the Pleistocene I was a college student. At one point during this epoch, a person of the female persuasion condescended to have dinner and see a movie with me. If memory serves, such an arrangement was called a “date.” (cf. “icebox,” “horseless carriage,” and “civility.”) At
“You have no idea how I’ve suffered. My son was the light of my eyes. He won every award in elementary school. I could show him off anywhere. He was such a pleasure. I was proud of his accomplishments. But now, he is lost to me. Lost. He is disrespectful,
No course on biology would be complete without devoting several lectures to the contributions of Rosalind Franklin. Her impact on the discovery of the double helix is the stuff of legend. Had she lived, it is likely that Franklin would have shared the Nobel Prize in Biology with Francis Crick, James
Having run out of eight-year-olds with whom we have DNA in common, we took the next logical step of importing eight-year-olds belonging to other folks. Our usual kids are grown and gone. So borrowing an eight-year-old or two seemed a reasonable step. Said eight-year-olds apparently belong to friends of my
Having decided some time ago that I would rather be happy than right, I make it a point to walk away from a myriad of potential kerfuffles. Especially with my wife. No pointless arguments for me, thank you very much. Staying married is my priority; happy wife, happy life. Just
Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2024 | Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC | (305) 978-8917 | [email protected]
