Don’t get me wrong. I’m crazy about the athletic trainers in my gym. I can’t imagine a more committed, supportive bunch of folks. From what I can tell they are sufficiently knowledgeable about kinesiology, physiology and a host of other arcane topics. They could explain anatomy, training, circulation, nutrition or other sophisticated health-related matters. But usually they don’t. What these highly trained exercise specialists mostly do is count to ten.
Sometimes when they get up to seven they say, “three more, two more, last one, you got this.” But for the most part, they spend the better part of each hour with their clients counting to ten. “One, two, three”–you know the rest.
Which got me thinking. Given that many of the clients of these exercise gurus are highly educated professional people, what is the value added? Don’t these clients with college degrees and grown-up lives feel completely comfortable correctly answering, “what number comes after six?”
It has been said that 80% of life is showing up. When it comes to toning up those muscles and dropping a few pounds by getting to the gym consistently, 90% of success is having someone counting on you to make your ten o’clock appointment.
The difference between, “you really should get to the gym if you want to drop those extra pounds” and “nice to see you again, let’s start our workout today with triceps” is the difference between looking and feeling like your same old self for the rest of your life on the one hand or kicking ass at your stepdaughter’s wedding and having better-looking arms than her biological mom.
The disparity can hardly be overstated. I don’t know if second place is first place for losers, but I am certain that it’s easier to get off the couch if someone is waiting for you at the gym. Having to pay for missed sessions is an added incentive.
Long-time readers will hardly be surprised that there is an analogy coming regarding education and parenting.
That big universities have student support centers to help college kids with organization, executive functioning, and subject area tutoring is well known. But I never saw a building help a struggling first-year math undergraduate understand why the derivative of velocity is acceleration. It’s all about the connection between one actual person—let’s call them the “tutor”—and another sentient being we’ll refer to as the “student.”
Telling a student, “you know you struggle with math, this program is designed to help you, don’t forget to make an appointment” is as effective as telling your spouse, “have you put on a few pounds, don’t you think you should get to the gym?”
Not every 18-year-old needs support getting out of bed, brushing their teeth, finding a clean shirt, and toddling off in the direction of their nine o’clock class, but for those who do, specific, granular, hands -dirty approaches are more helpful that cliched guidance from 30-thousand feet.
Sure the perfect student has the complete package–ability, motivation, willingness to forgo violent video games or other distractions. These young adults–whom we’ll call “doctors”–study while they eat, stay focused, make long-term plans, follow through. But should students who are missing just one of these skills be discarded altogether? What about a kid who just needs someone to meet them at the library and open the text book for them to the correct page. What if the only missing ability is remembering what chapter they need to study? Doesn’t that kid deserve a chance as well.
“Don’t you know that staying up late playing “Shoot, Shoot, Shoot, Blood, Blood, Blood, Kill, Kill, Kill” will negatively impact the likelihood of your stumbling in to your early class tomorrow?” is right up there “go for a run every day for a year if you want to lose those ten extra pounds in a healthy way” and “let’s invade Poland” as unlikely to bring about the desired result. Sounds reasonable, sure, but the devil is in the details.
And for parents who are (understandably) tired of acting as their child’s frontal lobe, I agree. It is your monkey but it doesn’t have to be your circus. Outsource that job! There are tons of qualified, sensitive, experienced folks who are only too eager to get well-intentioned, loving parents out of the homework wars. These folks will help your student show up for studying, show up for class, show up for life. Because for our EF-challenged kids, opening the book is the hard part. Getting them started so that they can be successful is as easy as counting to ten.
