The Long and Winding Road

Look, nobody is saying that Dorothy had it easy. She had to go a long way round to get back to where she belonged, right? Munchkins, poppies, green horses, were just the beginning. Then that annoying scarecrow telling her to go “both ways”? And don’t even get me started about those flying monkeys.

What even my most erudite readers may not know is that a previously unknown manuscript of Frank Baum’s hundred year-old story has recently been unearthed-in my very backyard of all places. Can you believe it? I am sure you understand that I am not at liberty to disclose all the details of this archaeological breakthrough which would involve my using phrases including “CIA,” “masons,” fortuitous coincidences,” “manuscript sniffing German shepherds,” and “none of this ever actually happened.” Though Baum’s last draft is incomplete, here are a few of the paragraphs that have been deciphered:

Scene: Castle interior. Stone walls festooned with torches, mold, and pennants of highly competitive colleges.

Wicked Witch: Take organic chemistry next year, my pretty.

Dorothy: Have you read Pride and Prejudice? Don’t you just adore Jane Austen? I want to read and study everything she’s written.

Wicked Witch: what would you do with an English major, teach? (Derisive cackle.)

Dorothy: I have always found peace working with charcoal and pastels. I wonder if I could find my true passion with acrylics or oils.

Wicked Witch: go to medical school! (Hurls flaming fireball.)

Dorothy: I barely got a B- in pre-calculus and I studied three hours every day. Math comes hard for me.

Wicked Witch: All the careers and big starting salaries are in computer science! Studying art history is a waste of time and money!

Dorothy: there’s no place like Rome. There’s no place like Rome.

As I mentioned, not all the pages of this classic have been discovered. The search for the complete manuscript. continues. Where will the complete text be found? Is it possible that indeed more of this very conversation is going on in the present day in your home?

Are you encouraging your child-“forcing” is such an ugly word-to study that which she neither enjoys nor for which she has any discernible aptitude?

My gentle sarcasm is not a narrow argument in favor of students favoring the liberal arts over science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. To the contrary, I am virulently in favor of all academic disciplines from anthropology to zoology. My point is simply that for many students choosing to study biochemistry rather than history is a false dichotomy. Students who excel in both disciplines can make an informed choice. More common are students who can do well in some majors or fail in others.

My long-standing and favorite dictum, “love the children you get and you’ll get the children you love” can be shortened: let them be who they are. And at the risk of extending this metaphor, you want to be the parent who is attuned to your child’s needs. You do not want to be the tornado that rips your child away from where she needs to be, from the place to which she will invariably and rightfully return.

You don’t need to discover a manuscript in your backyard to have contented children and peace in your home. Flying monkeys are more likely to enforce compliance than to solidify a loving relationship.