You Don’t Say. Part One

The Princess Esmerelda was as gracious as she was erudite. Well read, articulate and thoughtful, when she wore her flowing silk robes to affairs of state, her constituents smiled.

On her 21st birthday, Esmerelda’s father brought her news of her impending marriage. He had made an alliance, he explained, with the potentate of a neighboring kingdom. They were to be married in a year.

“Revered Father,” the princess began. “The duty I owe you for my education and upbringing are debts of which I am ever aware. As your daughter I must do as you command in all things. However, I cannot marry this man. For I am promised to another.”

“Promised to another!” The king’s rage reverberated along the stone walls of the castle. “Without my knowledge or consent? This is impossible! For generations uncounted, daughters have married at the behest of their fathers. Who is this usurper? To whom are you betrothed?”

Esmerelda looked at the floor. “He is a commoner,” she said. “His name is Earlham.”

“Earlham!” her father shouted. “We’ll see about this Earlham!” The king made a gesture to his guards. “To the tower with this ungrateful wretch!” he cried.

Esmerelda lived in the tower for a week, reading, writing and weaving. Finally, her father called her back. “From time immemorial,” he began, “the princesses of Throckenberg have married the princes of neighboring states. Yet you insist on making your own choice and you have chosen a commoner.”

“Yes, father.”

“And you love this Earlham? You feel he is worthy of you and that he is fit tobe a prince of our kingdom?”

“I do, father.”

“I cannot allow you to marry beneath you, Esmerelda. But I cannot bear to lose you, either.”

The princess was silent as the king continued. “I will let him determine his own fate. Here is what is to happen: I will put two marbles in a hat, one black marble and one white marble. Earlham will reach into the hat and pull out one marble. If he pulls out the white marble, I will give you my blessing as well as your dowry: a thousand samoleans of gold, a beach front condominium, and a new washer-dryer from Spiegel Catalog, Chicago, Illinois, 60609.”

“And if he pulls out the black marble?” Esmerelda asked.

The king looked his daughter in the eye and spoke slowly: “Then the royal tigers will feast.”

***

The next morning the sun rose bold and stark over the coliseum as 80,000 inhabitants of Throckenberg crowded together to watch Earlham pull one marble out of the hat to determine his fate. But a moment before Earlham was to be marched out into the stadium, a guard approached Esmerelda in her seat high above the proceedings.

“A moment, Your Highness,” he began. “I have news of the utmost import. We must speak in private.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Esmerelda, you must know the following. Your father, the King, has committed perfidy. He has not put one white marble and one black marble in the hat as he promised.”

Esmerelda gasped as the guard continued. “He has put two black marbles in the hat!”

Esmerelda thought long and hard then spoke hurriedly to the guard. “Do you have time to talk to Earlham before he is led out into the stadium?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Then run to him now. Quickly. I know what he must do. Tell him to reach into the hat and pull out one marble. Then you must tell him…”

***

And here our story ends.

Your job, Dear Reader, is to determine what Earlham must do. What must he say so that he and the Princess Esmerelda can live happily ever after in their condo on the beach?

Feel free to email me with questions. I’ll write up the answer in the column for next week. In the meantime, please accept the mildest of hints: This fairy tale/brain teaser has an answer that you will enjoy, not an answer that will annoy you. “Earlham has white powder on his hand” and “a fleet of aliens kill the king from their space ships” are off the table. When you figure it out–or when you read the answer next week–you’ll feel good about it.

Enjoy!