Save the LIfe of My Child. Part Two.

In our last installment, Jackson was tied to the railroad tracks and the train was a’ comin’. His mustachioed teacher had told him to learn the names of the 67 counties in Florida or he was going to lose the farm and miss recess.

“Sit down, shut up, and do this worksheet how I say, when I say,” intoned Snidely Whiplash, grimacing down menacingly over our eight year-old hero.

“But this curriculum of sitting all day isn’t developmentally appropriate,” rejoined Jackson. “And besides, I want to go play.”

How can we get Jackson off the track of the train and back on track to love learning? Let’s begin by forgetting about worksheets. Then, for Jackson, we may have to stop doing homework for a little while as well.

I know this sounds extreme especially in these days of “accountability,” but hear me out: Instead of forcing Jackson to read some vacuous passage and answer meaningless questions from a worksheet, have him curl up in Daddy’s lap and pick out a book that he likes. Read it out loud to him. Don’t ask him any questions other than, “What do you think will happen next?” and “What book would you like to read now?” Then take him to the library and allow him to pick out some more books. For the first six months of this program, don’t pay attention to whether or not the books are “on grade level.” Just make the time to read every single day, seven days a week. You find time to cook for the child; find the time to read.

In short, focus on your child’s education. Not what your child is learning in school.

Remember how much you enjoyed Tolkien’s The Hobbit? Could there be a better, more enticing landscape for children? A whole world filled with entire races of folks their size: hobbits, elves, and dwarves! Wizards and conquest, journeys and magic. How could any child not be enthralled and enchanted, desperate to hide under the covers with a flashlight determined to find out what happens next to Bilbo and his intrepid party? How could such a page turner possibly be ruined? Would it even be possible for any teacher to destroy a child’s rapt enjoyment of this popular volume which has SOLD MORE COPIES THAN ANY BOOK EXCEPT THE BIBLE?

Easy.

Here are three tried and true methods for destroying a child’s interest in this exquisite book:

1) “In Chapter One, 21 dwarves appear at Bilbo’s home. What are their names and in what order to they appear?

2) Read this book and I’ll give you a dollar.

3) Here’s a syringe. Shoot this heroin then decide whether you’d prefer to read The Hobbit or play “Blood, Blood, Blood, Shoot, Shoot, Shoot, Kill, Kill, Kill.”

“Answers:”

1) Nobody who loves this book remembers or cares which dwarves appear and in what order at Bilbo’s house. This is a “Did you read the book?” bludgeon from a teacher who believes children should be answering vapid questions rather than enjoying a brilliant book.

2) Nothing destroys intrinsic motivation more than an external reward.

3) I’d rather eat chocolate than enjoy a healthy meal. That’s why I stay away from chocolate. Similarly, most kids would rather play “Blood, Blood, Blood, Shoot, Shoot, Shoot, Kill, Kill, Kill” than read even the most wonderful books. That’s why Jackson’s parents shouldn’t allow him to play video games.

Indeed, Jackson’s parents need to throw out everything in their house with an on/off switch and a screen. Their computers need to be in public spaces (living room not bedroom.) Word processing and Internet research are OK. Computer games and Internet pornography, not so much.

Jackson needs to have the psychic space to that he can become a lifelong learner. The fewer distractions the better.

Because the train is a’ comin’. And Jackson needs to learn to read, to read to learn, and to love to read.