David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | david@davidaltshuler.com

Category: College Admissions

What Never Happens

A mother tells her 30-something daughter that she is overweight. (The daughter, not the mom.) “Your arms are flabby, “mom says. “You are at risk for heart disease and diabetes; you will never find a husband.” “Thanks, Mom, “the daughter responds sarcastically. “I had no idea. Now that you mention

Read More »

How Much Land Does a Man Need?

An elder sister came to visit her younger sister at a bad college. The elder attended a good college in the big city, the younger was enrolled at a bad college in the village. As the sisters sat over their Chardonnay talking, the elder began to boast of the advantages

Read More »

Adverse Advice

To a first approximation, all the advice your children will ever get is bad. I’m not even talking about, “drink this; get in the car” which is merciless enough certainly. That there are people who profit from convincing your kids to come to harm is hardly a headline. Anybody not

Read More »

Duke, Georgetown, Harvard, Penn, and Stanford

What would you say to a request from money from Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, or Mark Zuckerberg, a request for contributions. Jeff, Elon, Bill, and Mark are asking for money. Not for a charity. But for their own bank accounts. What if they wanted you to send them

Read More »

Nonna and Nonno

“If you raise your kids, you can spoil your grandkids; if you spoil your kids, you can end up raising your grandkids” suggests an unknown author, possibly the same unidentified pundit who suggested, “if you give your kids everything, they will appreciate nothing.” To which wisdom, I would like to

Read More »

Travels on the Continent

The folks at the RV North Carolina place weren’t kidding when they said, “we just sell them; we don’t fix them.” Our salesperson teased us: “Your check cleared; you’re dead to me.” I was left wondering what all those folks in the cavernous “Service Department” might be doing. I chatted

Read More »

Don’t Back Down

1) Wile E. Coyote, sputtering rocket strapped to his back, has run out of cliff and now hangs momentarily suspended—gazing despondently into the abyss. His best strategy is to: a) Flap his arms madly b) Not look down c) Hope the road runner will have a change of heart and

Read More »

I Have of Late

I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth. Which, okay, I get it. Your dad is dead. The smart money says that your uncle killed him. And for sure your mom is canoodling with your dad’s murderer, married him come to that. C’mon, mom! Yuk!

Read More »

Hit the Heights

After my four young children had taken turns swinging from the trapeze, it was, apparently, dad’s turn. I dutifully climbed up the ladder, schooched over onto the bar, and sat suspended eight feet above a net. Even without the safety of the tried and true mesh, I was in no

Read More »

Heard of cows?

Some number of my gracious readers were kind enough to enquire about my tip to Montana in May. (Hey! Three is a number!) We saw tons of bison. There are some 4700 bison in and around Yellowstone. I think we encountered each and every one of them. Magnificent, shaggy, and

Read More »

Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    david@davidaltshuler.com