David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Category: Parenting

Whose Birthday Is It, Anyway?

In “A Nice Place to Visit” from the inaugural season of “The Twilight Zone,” Sebastien Cabot welcomes Mr. Valentine, a recently deceased criminal, to a posh hotel suite. “My job is to see you get what you want, whatever it may be,” says the impeccable Cabot who goes on to

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Thanks for the Twenty

I appreciate your patience in allowing these seemingly disparate vignettes to be woven into a workable, if not perfectly seamless, tapestry. Part 1) The Young Realtor Realtors who view their clients and their work as an unrelenting series of losses punctuated by rare big hits are unlikely to be satisfied

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Is This The Party To Whom I’m Speaking?

In the generations before social media-texting and whatnot-students passed “notes.” Notes were, as the name implies, pieces of paper on which messages were transcribed. In those halcyon days, “I’m going to kick your ass after school at Burger King” was about as literate a message as you were likely to

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If a Heron Falls in a Forest

Adrienne is playing cards with his cousin, Melanie. Melanie’s mom watches as the children play, occasionally, pointing to a card in her daughter’s hand, giving advice, or suggesting a play. As the game progresses, Melanie’s mom becomes more involved, more insistent. Ignoring the other adults at the family gathering, she

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You May Ask Yourself, Well, How Did I Get Here?

So there’s this married guy on this secluded beach. And there’s this attractive, young woman–not his wife–sitting behind him on a blanket rubbing coconut scented suntan oil into his back. He’s talking to her about how much he loves his wife and how great their two young children are. She’s

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Run, David, Run

Just as Sauron’s ring makes the wearer power mad, running marathons tends to make narcissists of us all. At the risk of using too many first person pronouns, I am going to allude in my column this week to the 15 times I have failed to qualify to run the

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Woof! Woof! Woof! Homework! Woof! Woof! Woof!

Our three year-old terrier mix is committed to ridding the world of evil squirrels. When Langley sees a squirrel in a tree, our gracious pooch transforms into a psychotic lunatic. He sprints around the base of the squirrel-laden palms yelping frenetically. He leaps into the air, hurling himself upward in

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What I Like About You

“What year were you married? What year was the baby born?” “We were married in 1987, Abuela. Jacob was born in 1991.” MariaPaula’s grandmother had started to show signs of mild dementia something over a year before and had recently moved in with her only granddaughter. As grandmother’s cognitive abilities

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Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    [email protected]