David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Wait For It

In 1981 I purchased my first home, an 1100-square foot, two-bedroom house with jalousie windows and a wall unit air conditioner. Purchase price: $81,000. The mortgage–principle, interest, taxes, and insurance–came to $803/month. Having earned $780/month as a middle school math teacher the year before, I was concerned about my ability to keep up with the payments. So, in addition to tutoring six days a week, I picked up a few shifts at the book store and sold hotdogs at the Orange Bowl during football season. I also taught on Saturdays at the community college, a three-hour, early morning, marathon remedial math class. It would be difficult to exaggerate either how sweet those students were or how unprepared for college work. I will admit that after the second consecutive hour of pontificating about how to find the area of a rectangle of length eight and width six, I was ready for a cool beverage. So I would walk to a delicatessen downtown and indulge in the only pampering I allowed myself in those splendid economic times: I bought a turkey sandwich and a root beer. It was glorious. Even after all these years.

Of course, my story of youthful hardship hardly qualifies. I was blessed with generous parents, an expensive education, and absurdly good health. I never missed a meal and, had I gotten into any kind of financial kerfuffle, there were any number of folks to whom I could have turned for a short term loan. My point this week is not about political economy nor public policy-topics about which I know nothing. Indeed, Sgt. Schultz knows more about these subjects than I. Nor do I know anything about why any sane institution would front tens of thousands of dollars to a 22-year-old with a credit history composed primarily of empty pizza boxes. I just want to point out how much more appreciative your kids will be if you will stop giving them everything.

Some examples may serve to make the point:

Do you walk into the hall 45 minutes into Beethoven’s ninth symphony, trampling over the feet of seated concert goers? Do you chat loudly with your companions pontificating about how the first three movements of opus 125 are just so boring, that only the chorale is worth listening to?

Do you read the last page of the mystery first then, since you already know ‘whodunit’, do you toss the book aside unread?

Do you always eat dessert first? (And if so, are you apprehensive about health concerns relating to obesity?)

Of course not. Every adult understands the importance of waiting. “Foreplay later” is not a popular long term plan.

Then why are you denying your children the deep and lasting satisfaction of working hard to achieve a long term goal? Why do you keep giving them stuff, stuff that they neither appreciate nor enjoy?

No 16 year-old needs a new car. Not unless she has worked outside the home to earn a percentage of the purchase price. The gift of a new car isn’t a gift; it’s an insult. A new car for a high school kid communicates helplessness on the part of the recipient. That’s why, after receiving a $40,000 Lexus, she pitched a boogie crying about how she wanted the BMW.

What’s wrong with this picture? Everything.

Even water tastes better after you’ve mowed the lawn.

Remember those snarky, obnoxious, fussy kids whining their way through Disney World the last time you were there? You remember the children: they were outraged that they only had seven lollipops when they wanted eight.

Had they paid ten percent of the admission fee, there would have been fewer tears.

Give your children the gift of hard work and accomplishment. Just be prepared for them to still be talking about a turkey sandwich and a root beer 35 years later.

 

 

David

David

9 thoughts on “Wait For It

  1. John Calia

    “Water Tastes Better After You’ve Mowed the Lawn”… Sounds like a title for your next book. Hurry and use before I steal it. Great stuff here!!

    John Calia

  2. Dr. Valmarie Rhoden

    David,
    Excellent article and a reminder to parents that work builds character which builds perseverance; and perseverance is one of the pillars for success.
    Valmarie

  3. Carl Olding

    I was working (yard work which could have been done by the woman’s son), when she told me her sons new Camero had to go to the shop because he had driven it off road!

  4. Gloria Raskosky

    Love this article David. I completely agree with you….we’ve talked about this theme before and how hard it is for nowadays parents not to give in to this social pressure….who cares if Such and such has the latest model of Celine bag, or who cares if all your classmates have an IPhone 6 whatever, you want it, you work for it!

  5. Bob Brennan

    YOU ROCK !!!!! It is the journey that brings happiness…. Not just success. Winning is fine…Getting there is the richest reward. Gathering friends who are doing the same along the way…..

    Thank you for walking the path with us….. I miss Thurber and you walking the neighborhood….

    I do enjoy the days seeing you running……

  6. Gerry Weber

    Your life and experiences parallel mine. Or so it seems from reading your blogs. I did make the big mistake of buying both of my sons brand new cars right out of high school. The good news is that in spite of this they did, in fact, learn most of the other important lessons in life that we shared with them.
    I am hopeful that they, unlike most of their peers, will continue this with their children.

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