Category Archives: Parenting

The Ouch Paradigm

Ignaz Semmelweis, so history tells us, was the preeminent obstetrician in Europe in the 1840s. Educated, credentialed, and well-read, Semmelweis was the Big Kahuna of baby delivery doctors two centuries ago. Except that the babies he delivered died at a disproportionately higher rate than those delivered by folks who didn’t work at the fancy-schmancy hospital….Read the full article

Fun, Fun, Fun

Some gentle readers who have been with me for 250 of these rabble-rousing musings have had the unmitigated temerity to suggest that my anti-drug, pro-running, be responsible for your kids screeds can be summarized as “fun is bad.” Not everybody wants to wake up at oh dark hundred, join similarly afflicted loonies, and train for…Read the full article

Publish or Perish

My mom has perfect grammar. She knows who and whom, can tell a dangling participle from a gerund. Wake her up in the middle of the night and she will tell you when to use “ten-year-old” instead of “ten year old.” Throw a term paper across the room and, before it hits the floor, my…Read the full article

Do You Want to Dance?

New to the sixth grade and new to the school, my son was pleased to receive an invitation to a dance. “Dance,” as it turns out, has more than one meaning of which shy children asking one another to do the twist is not the relevant one. At this country club, 11-year-olds were exhorted to…Read the full article

ER

After a buddy of mine had the poor judgment to choose to be born on the island of Hispaniola, he compounded his ineptitude 30 years later by contracting malaria. Sensitive to my wife’s unyielding policy of “no dead guys in the living room,” I drove Sebastian to the county hospital where we learned that 1)…Read the full article

Mastodons, Math, Running in the Rain, and Addiction

Consider Mr. Atrobus versus a mastodon. Atrobus is hungry. But the mastodon does not fancy appearing on anyone’s luncheon menu. One on one, the smart money is on Proboscidea. Because soaking wet, Atrobus tips the scales at something south of 200 pounds, about 10,000 pounds short of your recalcitrant mastodon. Ten millennia later when scales…Read the full article

What Do You Want?

Warning: some content may not be appropriate for younger readers. At two o’clock in the morning at a fraternity party, a senior tells a first year student that he has been attracted to her for the entire semester but has never spoken to her until now. He alternates encouraging her to sip vodka with insisting…Read the full article