David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | david@davidaltshuler.com

Category: Parenting

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Brown

Mrs. Charles Brown filed for divorce yesterday in family court citing irreconcilable differences in her marriage of four years. “Who wants to be married to a kid who was bald all the way back in elementary school?” she asked. “And every time I needed change for the dryer, my husband

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Don’t Blow it

Personal injury settlements and lottery winnings are the two ways to come into piles of money all at once without having to do anything in particular other than buy a ticket or perhaps get run over by someone with good insurance coverage. Like Minerva born from the brain of Zeus,

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Sunset

It’s getting dark. Has the sun has been extinguished by an alien super-being who feeds on the energy of stars ending all life on this planet? Should we run shrieking in the streets knowing that there is no tomorrow? Should we hurl ourselves out of the window anticipating that in

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Kodiak Moment

You know that woman whose kids are endlessly pleasant? She had six children in six years, homeschooled them all even before the virus. The kids cheerfully help with dishes, chores, cleaning, yard work. They go to bed without being told, get up without being asked, do their homework, say thank

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We Can Work it Out

One of my running buddies, Martin, is faster than I, bordering on immeasurably so. Martin covers five kilometers much quicker than I do. Same for 10K. Martin beats me in the half marathon by half an hour. I’m pretty sure there are no more 50-milers in these 64-year-old legs, but

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Sand

Visualize a small pile of sand. A pile of sand is distinguishable from several grains of sand. Remove one grain at a time. At what point does the pile of sand become a few grains of sand? As you remove each grain, the pile remains a pile. Until it isn’t.

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Nightmare

Alien encounters are said to follow a recurrent theme: bright lights, anesthesia, probing. Other nightmares include showing up without clothes to an exam for which you are unprepared. Being pursued by soldiers intent on inflicting grievous bodily harm is another. I had a bad dream last night worse than any

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Go Outside and Play

Unsophisticated readers have unfailingly accused this gentle author of pining for a representation of our country’s history that did not ever, in fact, exist. You envision a romantic epoch on the prairie a hundred fifty years ago when family game night was a thing. You think generations living together was

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Dog Days

As the above photo will attest, our 30-something pound Terrier mix is completely at home crossing an 8-inch wide “bridge“ over a creek. Would the three-foot drop bother him were he to lose his footing? We will never know. Langley walks across those boards like he was born there. He

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You Never Know

“You never know” suggest the strategists tasked with separating you from your dollar. Those designing lottery adverts are compensated by their success. “You never know” is an enticing campaign. The implication—that you might win a million dollars and be able to significantly pay down your credit card debt—is clear. You

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Copyright © David Altshuler 2019    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    david@davidaltshuler.com