David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | david@davidaltshuler.com

Category: Parenting

Kodiak Moment

You know that woman whose kids are endlessly pleasant? She had six children in six years, homeschooled them all even before the virus. The kids cheerfully help with dishes, chores, cleaning, yard work. They go to bed without being told, get up without being asked, do their homework, say thank

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We Can Work it Out

One of my running buddies, Martin, is faster than I, bordering on immeasurably so. Martin covers five kilometers much quicker than I do. Same for 10K. Martin beats me in the half marathon by half an hour. I’m pretty sure there are no more 50-milers in these 64-year-old legs, but

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Sand

Visualize a small pile of sand. A pile of sand is distinguishable from several grains of sand. Remove one grain at a time. At what point does the pile of sand become a few grains of sand? As you remove each grain, the pile remains a pile. Until it isn’t.

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Nightmare

Alien encounters are said to follow a recurrent theme: bright lights, anesthesia, probing. Other nightmares include showing up without clothes to an exam for which you are unprepared. Being pursued by soldiers intent on inflicting grievous bodily harm is another. I had a bad dream last night worse than any

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Go Outside and Play

Unsophisticated readers have unfailingly accused this gentle author of pining for a representation of our country’s history that did not ever, in fact, exist. You envision a romantic epoch on the prairie a hundred fifty years ago when family game night was a thing. You think generations living together was

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Dog Days

As the above photo will attest, our 30-something pound Terrier mix is completely at home crossing an 8-inch wide “bridge“ over a creek. Would the three-foot drop bother him were he to lose his footing? We will never know. Langley walks across those boards like he was born there. He

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You Never Know

“You never know” suggest the strategists tasked with separating you from your dollar. Those designing lottery adverts are compensated by their success. “You never know” is an enticing campaign. The implication—that you might win a million dollars and be able to significantly pay down your credit card debt—is clear. You

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My Busy Day

Parenting “expert” that I purportedly am, I never managed to choose age appropriate books to read to my kids. I’m not particularly proud of this. At seven and eight, they heard Flowers for Algernon, a poignant book with any number of inappropriate themes for recent kindergarten graduates: The beloved narrator plummets

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Soccer Bombs

Once upon a gentler time before “Kill the Ref!” became the norm, parents used to chat amicably on the sidelines while their little ones imitated hordes of lemmings on the soccer pitch. Adorable seven-year-olds would flock gleefully around a careening ball. Comfortably ensconced on lawn chairs, moms and dads would

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Your Pain or Mine?

I’m fond of my dentist, a close personal friend of many years, a skilled and ethical professional. But just as McCoy opined, “I’m a doctor, Jim, not a bricklayer,” there’s only so much even the most competent practitioner can accomplish. My friend is a dentist, not a magician. When the

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Copyright © David Altshuler 2019    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    david@davidaltshuler.com