What if there were one simple answer to your unrelenting doubts? What if that unassuming solution would take away all the pain? What if that one unique answer were hidden in plain sight? What if that solution were so mind-numbingly obvious that, once you had stumbled upon its blinding clarity,
We are getting slower. We aren’t running as far. We aren’t running as often. By any objective measure, our running group is failing to meet goals. What purpose could a running group possibly have other than to improve speed, distance, and frequency? Isn’t the point of getting together at oh-dark-hundred
“Quick question: is this break ever going to be over or what? Because I am about ready to lose it. Am I stuck in an alternative dimension? Has time stopped? Am I traveling backwards at the speed of light? Is school ever going to start again? Are my kids ever
Me: “Amazing Spider-Man number 6?” One of my Running Buddies: “First appearance of The Lizard. Stan Lee, author, drawn by Steve Ditko, 1963. Record sale price, about $70,000 in near mint condition.” Me: “1955 World Series?” Another of my Running Buddies: “First win by Brooklyn Dodgers. Seven games. Dodgers lost
Ten-year-old Jaime is struggling with her multiplication tables. Four times nine gives her trouble. Seven times eight is particularly perilous. Four times nine frequently elicits an answer of 42, occasionally 32, seldom 36. Seven times eight can be pretty much any two-digit number. Jamie’s parents send her upstairs to do
Applicants to medical school are aware of two deadlines. For the purposes of this column we’ll call these deadlines “the early deadline” and “the late deadline.” Indeed, all information that follows is “truthful” if not “factual.” (You have a busy day, gentle reader, and I certainly have better things to
One of my running buddies is bad at math. Terrible. Truly. Took only the one required math course in college to fulfill the distribution requirement: algebra one. Took it three times. Finally squeaked through with a C-. Promptly forgot what little he had learned. Could no more factor a simple
I like the gym because there are people who look like me. Some of us could lose a few pounds. Many of us require some gentle motivation. None of us is able to lift as much as we did decades ago. Wanna know who will be standing on the podium
My dad was stationed in Texas. He didn’t talk a great deal about his experiences, but I was able to discern this much: 1) Texas in 1944 was hot. The only air conditioner on the base was in the officer’s club. My dad was not an officer. 2) Soldiers were
That men of a certain age require occasional unsavory medical procedures is old news. Old news for men of a certain age certainly. “Let me tell you about my operation” is anathema for good reason. Operations are similar to digestive systems. Everybody has one; nobody wants to hear about yours.
Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022 | Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC | (305) 978-8917 | [email protected]
