David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | david@davidaltshuler.com

Category: Parenting

Shocking

On our morning perambulation, Langley and I could not help but notice three ginormous trucks and a dozen scurrying workmen. Closer inspection revealed tee-shirts emblazoned with the FPL logo. “Good morning” I shouted above the clamor of screaming vehicles. “Good morning,” responded several of the electricians who were not in

Read More »

You’re Ugly and your Mother Dresses you Funny

For the purposes of this essay, allow that everyone has some good qualities. And some that are not so attractive. Pretend further, that you are dating a person who focuses only on your imperfections. “You smell like a bag of farts,” your partner begins. “Your car stinks; you stink; you

Read More »

Reject

Jim Lovell’s rejection was based on a medical condition which, as it turned out, he didn’t even have. Nonetheless, rejected he was. The Mercury Seven astronauts were seven somebody elses. John Glenn, Alan Shepard, and Gus Grissom made the cut. Jim Lovell did not. Lovell had experience with rejection. He

Read More »

Crosswalk

Statistically improbable as it may seem, a Miami driver actually did come to a complete stop at a crosswalk this past Saturday. A dozen of my running buddies and I waved cheerfully as we took a step on to 57th Ave. We then froze in our proverbial tracks as another

Read More »

HSC

What if there were one simple answer to your unrelenting doubts? What if that unassuming solution would take away all the pain? What if that one unique answer were hidden in plain sight? What if that solution were so mind-numbingly obvious that, once you had stumbled upon its blinding clarity,

Read More »

What Was The Question?

We are getting slower. We aren’t running as far. We aren’t running as often. By any objective measure, our running group is failing to meet goals. What purpose could a running group possibly have other than to improve speed, distance, and frequency? Isn’t the point of getting together at oh-dark-hundred

Read More »

School’s Out

“Quick question: is this break ever going to be over or what? Because I am about ready to lose it. Am I stuck in an alternative dimension? Has time stopped? Am I traveling backwards at the speed of light? Is school ever going to start again? Are my kids ever

Read More »

What do you Know?

Me: “Amazing Spider-Man number 6?” One of my Running Buddies: “First appearance of The Lizard. Stan Lee, author, drawn by Steve Ditko, 1963. Record sale price, about $70,000 in near mint condition.” Me: “1955 World Series?” Another of my Running Buddies: “First win by Brooklyn Dodgers. Seven games. Dodgers lost

Read More »

Fruitful Multiplication

Ten-year-old Jaime is struggling with her multiplication tables. Four times nine gives her trouble. Seven times eight is particularly perilous. Four times nine frequently elicits an answer of 42, occasionally 32, seldom 36. Seven times eight can be pretty much any two-digit number. Jamie’s parents send her upstairs to do

Read More »

Is There a Doctor in the House?

Applicants to medical school are aware of two deadlines. For the purposes of this column we’ll call these deadlines “the early deadline” and “the late deadline.” Indeed, all information that follows is “truthful” if not “factual.” (You have a busy day, gentle reader, and I certainly have better things to

Read More »

Copyright © David Altshuler 2019    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    david@davidaltshuler.com