Author Archives: David

Bad Text

Remember those horrific, “Mommy, mommy” jokes? Unbearably offensive a generation ago, they are almost unpublishable by the more enlightened standards of today:  “Mommy, mommy, I don’t want to go to Europe.” “Shut up and keep swimming.” “Mommy, mommy, I don’t want to run in circles.” “Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the…Read the full article

Crosswalk

Statistically improbable as it may seem, a Miami driver actually did come to a complete stop at a crosswalk this past Saturday. A dozen of my running buddies and I waved cheerfully as we took a step on to 57th Ave. We then froze in our proverbial tracks as another car whipped around the stopped…Read the full article

Oops

  It seems that one of my running buddies may have missed the point of these past 300-something columns almost entirely.  I was describing what a pleasant time my younger son and I had had on a recent car trip. We took turns finding trivia questions online: which MLB team had the most wins in…Read the full article

Savings Account

“I would trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday,” Janice Joplin suggested shortly before her death from a heroin overdose severely limited any and all of her tomorrows. “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today,” intoned Whimpy, amusing generations who knew the truth: charming guy; but Tuesday would never come. “What…Read the full article

Supermodel

One of my running buddies is–how can I put this politely?–“exacting.” Steve’s house is immaculate; his business runs like an atomic clock; even his hair is perfect. In the 50-something years we’ve been friends, I have never known him to fail to fulfill a commitment. Even his employees at his architecture firm like him. You…Read the full article

Job Opportunity

My colleague, the head clinician, needs to hire a new therapist. The criteria for the position are extensive. The 14 to 17-year-olds at this program are clinically complex. An appropriate applicant must be able to handle kids who have not previously met with success. These kids have done poorly in the classroom, on the athletic…Read the full article