David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Author: David

Random 2.0

As college admissions decisions continue to descend upon hapless seniors and their well-intentioned parents this week, all involved revert to the cognitive capability of a three-year-old. “Why?” asks a toddler in response to any and every statement. “Let’s brush your teeth,” “it’s time for bed”—are all followed by the ubiquitous

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Connectivity

“Her life had been as exciting and varied as our was monotonous” is Willa Cather’s delicate phrase from 1926. Petula Clark sang, “when you’re alone and life is making you lonely…” 38 years later. Another subsequent 56 years, downtown is no longer the venue where the worst thing that could

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Our Vines have Tender Grapes

None of us can sing worth a darn, but we are a highly enthusiastic bunch caterwauling in the woods each summer. One of our chorus is a federal prosecutor. As the mental health professionals sit around the campfire discussing substance use disorder late into the evening, Ben remains thoughtful. Recent

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T-i-i-i-m-e

            One of our running buddies is an administrative assistant. Her skill set and her previous experience encompass managing every aspect of an office. In these Covid-permeated times, her responsibilities have been curtailed to endless scheduling, which is fine, a job is a job. Her new responsibilities are limited to

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Seventh Grade Math

It would be hard to overstate the combined intellectual capacity of my running buddies this morning. Sam has a Ph.D.; Robin was top of the class in law school; Jordan is a gifted physician. Accomplished, professional, bright, (sweaty) folks that they are, not one of them could pass a seventh-grade

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Key Insight

A young doctor I know loses the key to his apartment with staggering consistency—several times a month. He academic abilities are prodigious: he was graduated near the top of his class in medical school and can recite differential diagnoses more effectively than I can remember the names of my own

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Post Hoc

“Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc?’” asks Martin Sheen as President Josh Bartlett in the second episode of The West Wing. “After it therefore because of it,” his chief of staff responds. “It means one thing follows the other therefore it was caused by

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Melodic Children

It is said that the greatest compositions have hidden melodies in addition to the evident ones. After mastering a Shostakovich concerto, a pianist may suggest that more music has appeared, as if the composer left a secret embedded series of notes that were only revealed after a thousand repetitions. Not

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Adorable/Deplorable

Nineteen preschoolers twirled to the right; Jenny spun to the left. A dozen four-year-old children flung both hands in the air; Jenny sat down. The kids made a circle following one another conga style as the melodies oozed from the small speakers. Children smiled and bowed as the performance ended

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Do You Know Anyone Who…?

It doesn’t take a crystal ball or a master’s in counseling psychology—not that I happen to have either—to know where the conversation is going: “Do you know anyone who has Covid?“  Did I say conversation? Because of course I meant, diatribe. And I was hardly compulsory as a participant. I

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Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    [email protected]