David Altshuler, M.S.
(305) 978-8917 | [email protected]

Author: David

Travels on the Continent

The folks at the RV North Carolina place weren’t kidding when they said, “we just sell them; we don’t fix them.” Our salesperson teased us: “Your check cleared; you’re dead to me.” I was left wondering what all those folks in the cavernous “Service Department” might be doing. I chatted

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Don’t Back Down

1) Wile E. Coyote, sputtering rocket strapped to his back, has run out of cliff and now hangs momentarily suspended—gazing despondently into the abyss. His best strategy is to: a) Flap his arms madly b) Not look down c) Hope the road runner will have a change of heart and

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I Have of Late

I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth. Which, okay, I get it. Your dad is dead. The smart money says that your uncle killed him. And for sure your mom is canoodling with your dad’s murderer, married him come to that. C’mon, mom! Yuk!

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Hit the Heights

After my four young children had taken turns swinging from the trapeze, it was, apparently, dad’s turn. I dutifully climbed up the ladder, schooched over onto the bar, and sat suspended eight feet above a net. Even without the safety of the tried and true mesh, I was in no

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Heard of cows?

Some number of my gracious readers were kind enough to enquire about my tip to Montana in May. (Hey! Three is a number!) We saw tons of bison. There are some 4700 bison in and around Yellowstone. I think we encountered each and every one of them. Magnificent, shaggy, and

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Throw Your Daughter into the Volcano

Let’s begin by making fun of folks in ancient India. Dry spells, they believed, were caused by a dragon standing guard over the clouds. But a storm god could lure the dragon away. The people, therefore, cheered for the storm god. The resulting rain, or lack thereof, was attributed to

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Well Another Man Might Have Been Angry

Those of us a certain generation will not only immediately recognize the above reference but also conjure up associated feelings. We may not remember exactly what we were wearing when we first heard Harry Chapin’s Taxi, but we have a connection nonetheless. I’m told that the Elizabethan Age had a

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Park Snark

A Parent: “Emerald Pools is nice enough, I suppose, but the hoodoos at Bryce are exquisite. So much more interesting.”  Another Parent: “You’re kidding, right? The museum at Zion is not only bigger but better than the one at Bryce. Much more educational.” A Parent: “There are 175 species of

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Add Vice

Devon is deciding courses for the last year of high school. Devon’s counselor suggests a fourth year of Spanish. Colleges like to see four years of a language, intones the counselor. Devon wants to drop language to make room for three history courses. Oh, no, responds the counselor. Colleges don’t

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Help!

Forty-something years ago, my girlfriend and I are in Biscayne Bay on a rented 13’ 9” Sunfish, maybe a mile from shore. We are chatting, having a lovely afternoon, clear skies–even though there isn’t room on the small sailboat for more than eight or nine sandwiches and a six pack

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Copyright © David Altshuler 1980 – 2022    |    Miami, FL • Charlotte, NC     |    (305) 978-8917    |    [email protected]