Author Archives: David

The Rest of the Story

If you think no one cares about you, try missing a car payment. If you think no one knows you’re alive, see what happens if you overlook your mortgage. Similarly, if you think that homework is about mastery of academic material, just neglect to turn in an assignment. Because homework is not about “did you learn…Read the full article

Parenting in Vein

My dad was weeping in his hospital bed. Being the thoughtful, dutiful son that I am I told him to stop thrashing around. “It’s 3:00 am,” I pointed out. “Some of us have to work in the morning, you know.” It depends who you ask, but in my family we have always believed that my dad…Read the full article

Get Your Kid into the Right College. Get the Right College into Your Kid

Noises usually associated with the trenches of the First World War were coming from somewhere deep within my car. Clearly, something was amiss with the combobulator. Or possibly the framistan. My liberal arts degree safely in a drawer, I called a buddy of mine, the assistant service manager of a car dealership. Steve and I…Read the full article

What a Dog

I’m not saying this happened. But you can’t say that it didn’t. You weren’t there. (I usually detest arguments of the form “How could you know unless we’re the same person?” but let’s make an exception for a vignette about a man and his dog.) The only backstory you need is that I have no…Read the full article

Hard Work

One of my buddies from the gym wants to lose 20 pounds. He does significant cardio six days each week. Andy is becoming a beast on the stair master. He lifts weights too. Chest and triceps one day, back and biceps the next. And abdominal exercises? Don’t ask. A hundred sit-ups AND a hundred leg…Read the full article

All Together Now

What is the take away from “Yellow Submarine”? “Avoid Blue Meanies” certainly and possibly “Be Nice,” but the maligned Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD also instructs, “Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo. So little time, so much to know.” Truer words never uttered by an animated quadruped. That there are limitations on how much…Read the full article

Working

I get it. If what you’re doing is working for you who am I to tell you different? If you are content, it’s none of my business how you got there. On the other hand, if you are making yourself and your loved ones miserable, shouldn’t we at least have a conversation about your choices?…Read the full article

Bad Text

Remember those horrific, “Mommy, mommy” jokes? Unbearably offensive a generation ago, they are almost unpublishable by the more enlightened standards of today:  “Mommy, mommy, I don’t want to go to Europe.” “Shut up and keep swimming.” “Mommy, mommy, I don’t want to run in circles.” “Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the…Read the full article